man to man talk with son

as my son turns five and just  graduated to class one, i have noticed he has a close attached to a small girl of same age and he bold introduces her to we ( my wife n I) “mammie, mammie , dad look whom i brought over for lunch!”

we both look at each other in awe but he continued and with a cheeky face that made me run for the hills when he said,

“dad, how do u see my new girlfriend ?,aint we just  cute together”

at that moment i realized why it was now the right time to have a man to man talk with my handsome young son, as too much TV was what he had n i hate surprises  that are accustomed to him. i had a hard rough time explaining why on this earth you cannot:-

1. You Can Not Chase Money And Women At The Same Time – Even when so many fathers have made this mistake in their youthful days they still end up failing to tell their sons that one cannot hunt for money and women at the same time. It is either one makes money and then start chasing women or the other way round.

2. A Man Gets More Respect Based On His Pocket – This point is not trying to encourage crime or ungodly acts in other to make wealth but to face reality. It is a known fact that both within the home front and the society at large, a man is respected the more according to how comfortable and financially free he becomes.

3. Women Can Make Or Ruin You – So many fathers even when they know the truth of the power of any woman, still shy away from enlightening their sons on the critical hidden powers a woman possesses. From the days of Adam, Samson, Solomon, Abacha and other notable men, we have seen how a man can either rise or fall through the power and influence of a woman. A man should therefore thread as softly as possible when dealing with a woman.

4. A Woman Can Smell A Successful Man From Miles Away – Women naturally have an hidden instinct of knowing a man who is successful or have the tendency of being successful in the future. So many women have stuck to a struggling and upcoming man against their parents wish of marrying an already made man. A woman will say things like “he has a bright future”, “he has potentials” or “he will be a great man in future”. Ladies who have uttered such words and stuck by their men have never gone wrong. Example is how Michelle Obama stuck with Barack through thick and thin.

5. A Woman Doesn’t Like A Weak Man -When fathers tell their sons never to give in to a woman’s pressure, they mostly advise their sons to be forceful on issues to prove he is the man of the house. When in reality, women prefer men who say less and do more, rather than the ones who keep talking but do less. The latter is the typical meaning of a weak man but fathers always advice to do such to prove he is the king of the house.

6. Women Appreciate Men With Fatherly Characters – Most men always miss out on this and as such never advise their sons to be a father figure to their wives. Women are best at doing this but every woman wants a man who sits her down to advice her, reason with her, give her constructive criticisms and above all, believe in her.

7. It Is Easier To Catch A Cheating Man Than Catch A Cheating Woman – Most men till date don’t know that it is far easier to get caught cheating as a man than catching a woman who cheats. A woman can make a man ‘father’ every single child she has but only her knows who the biological father is, while a man can hardly keep it as a secret from his wife when he has a love child outside the matrimonial home.

all long he sat there staring at me and when i was done he just asked me,

“dad does this make me man enough to propose, ?” to her in class so as i can marry her when we turn both 13  in  2920days to  come and on reducing end ?”

i just couldn’t say another word to this small brains that i had now made more enlightened for i am sure the grandpa was now happy looking down on us n overhearing  us have the talk that he couldn’t have with me at such tender age.

Honesty: the best thing that anyone can give you n aid your future that awaits.

 

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LUST vs LOVE

I’ve seen how intense sexual attraction is notorious for obliterating common sense and intuition in the most sensible people. Why? Lust is an altered state of consciousness programmed by the primal urge to procreate. In the early stage of a relationship, when the sex hormones are raging, lust is fueled by idealization and projection–you see what you hope someone will be or need them to be–rather than seeing the real person, flaws and all. the difference between lust and love as well as techniques to enhance sexual wellness. Pure lust is based solely on physical attraction and fantasy–it often dissipates when the “real person” surfaces. It’s the stage of wearing rose colored glasses when he or she “can do no wrong.” Being in love doesn’t exclude lust. In fact, lust can lead to love. However, real love is not based on idealization or projection, requires time to get to know each othe, signs to watch for to differentiate pure lust from love.

SIGNS OF LUST

  • You’re totally focused on a person’s looks and body.
  • You’re interested in having sex, but not in having conversations.
  • You’d rather keep the relationship on a fantasy level, not discuss real feelings.
  • You want to leave soon after sex rather than cuddling or breakfast the next morning.
  • You are lovers, but not friends.
  • SIGNS OF LOVE

  • You want to spend quality time together other than sex.
  • You get lost in conversations and forget about the hours passing.
  • You want to honestly listen to each other’s feelings, make each other happy.
  • He or she motivates you to be a better person.
  • You want to get to meet his or her family and friends.
  • Another challenge of sexual attraction is learning to stay centered and listen to your gut in the early stages of being with someone. This isn’t easy in the midst of hormones surging, but it’s essential to make healthy relationship decisions. Here are some tips to help you keep your presence of mind when you’re attracted to someone. This needn’t pull the plug on passion, but it’ll make you more aware so you don’t go looking for trouble.As foir new relationship one has to consider the feelings involved top make decisions and you gotta  Watch for:

  • A little voice in your gut says “danger” or “beware.”
  • You have a sense of malaise, discomfort, or feeling drained after you’re together.
  • Your attraction feels destructive or dark.
  • You’re uncomfortable with how this person is treating you, but you’re afraid that if you mention it, you’ll push him or her away.
  • Over the years, I’ve learnt that women’s focus on showing how to identify and act on their inner voice. The gut senses a potential for kindness and violence. Many women who are / had  been in abusive relationships admits, “My gut initially told me something was wrong–but I ignored it.” The pattern is always consistent. They say, “I’ve meet a man. At first he’ll be charming, sexy, sweep me off my feet. The electricity between us was amazing. I’d write off the voice in my gut that said ‘you better watch out’ as fear of getting involved. When later the abuse began, I was already hooked.” Some gut instincts though, are anything but subtle. It’s so much nicer to be involved with someone your gut likes. Then you’re not always guarding against a basic suspicion or incompatibility. You must also give yourself permission to listen to your gut when it says, “This person is healthy for you. You are going to make each other happy.” To be happy, take a risk, but also pay attention to the warning signs I presented. This allows you to wisely go for the fulfilling relationships you deserve.

    I’ve seen how intense sexual attraction is notorious for obliterating common sense and intuition in the most sensible people. Why? Lust is an altered state of consciousness programmed by the primal urge to procreate. Studies suggest that the brain in this phase is much like a brain on drugs. MRI scans illustrate that the same area lights up when an addict gets a fix of cocaine as when a person is experiencing the intense lust of physical attraction. Also in the early stage of a relationship, when the sex hormones are raging, lust is fueled by idealization and projection–you see what you hope someone will be or need them to be–rather than seeing the real person, flaws and all.

    In my book “Guide to Intuitive Healing” I discuss the difference between lust and love as well as techniques to enhance sexual wellness. Pure lust is based solely on physical attraction and fantasy–it often dissipates when the “real person” surfaces. It’s the stage of wearing rose colored glasses when he or she “can do no wrong.” Being in love doesn’t exclude lust. In fact, lust can lead to love. However, real love, not based on idealization or projection, requires time to get to know each other. Here are some signs to watch for to differentiate pure lust from love.

    SIGNS OF LUST

  • You’re totally focused on a person’s looks and body.
  • You’re interested in having sex, but not in having conversations.
  • You’d rather keep the relationship on a fantasy level, not discuss real feelings.
  • You want to leave soon after sex rather than cuddling or breakfast the next morning.
  • You are lovers, but not friends.
  • SIGNS OF LOVE

  • You want to spend quality time together other than sex.
  • You get lost in conversations and forget about the hours passing.
  • You want to honestly listen to each other’s feelings, make each other happy.
  • He or she motivates you to be a better person.
  • You want to get to meet his or her family and friends.
  • Another challenge of sexual attraction is learning to stay centered and listen to your gut in the early stages of being with someone. This isn’t easy in the midst of hormones surging, but it’s essential to make healthy relationship decisions. Here are some tips to help you keep your presence of mind when you’re attracted to someone. This needn’t pull the plug on passion, but it’ll make you more aware so you don’t go looking for trouble.

    difference between dating being relationship.

    Dating itself can be incredibly confusing, much less, defining what your relationship status is. The difference between dating and being in a relationship can be subtle. It is important to discuss relationship boundaries with the person you are dating, and be clear in your communications with them.

    1. Commitment

      • The difference between dating and being in a relationship is commitment. If you are going out with someone on a regular basis, and you and your partner have agreed to date only one another, then you are in a committed relationship.

        However, if you are dating a person and neither of you have agreed to date exclusively, then you are not in a relationship and you are both free to also date other people.

      2. Is it Mutual?

      • Some of the most heartbreaking relationship problems can be caused by lack of communication. Have you and your partner discussed your relationship status? Did you come to a mutual agreement about your relationship status as a couple? If any of this is unclear to you, at any point in the dating process, you should discuss it with your partner.

        According to “Dating for Dummies,” “Sexual intimacy, although not necessary to a committed relationship, is often one of its hallmarks.” Regardless of your intimacy level, you still want to be clear with your partner about your relationship status.

      3. Expectations

      • Prior to talking, you should sort out how you feel about the relationship, aside from anything your partner may feel, and decide what you want or need from your partner. The book, “Getting Love Right: Learning the Choices of Healthy Intimacy,” suggests asking yourself the following: “Are the people you are presently involved with capable of giving you what you want in a relationship? Do you share similar expectations for the relationship? Are you currently involved with someone who has the potential to be a healthy partner?”After giving these questions some thought, you will need to have a discussion with the person you are dating.

      4. Discussing it

      • So, you are confused about the status of your dating relationship and you need to have ‘the big talk’. How do you bring it up? The best way to have this discussion is directly, and in a friendly manner. Also, it is best talk in person. Discussing your dating life via phone, e-mail or text allows for miscommunication. Be direct and ask the person whom you are seeing if they want to be exclusive or not.

        If the person you are seeing is reluctant to discuss the status of your relationship, give them a few days to consider it. If they still shy away from discussion, this could be a red flag.

      5. Confusing Behaviors

      • Occasionally, you might date someone who displays confusing and sometimes manipulative actions or behaviors. For example: You have discussed it and have decided not to have a committed relationship, only casual dating. However, your date becomes possessive when your cell phone rings, or someone says hello. Or, your date will attempt to convince you that they are only seeing you, but they won’t actually commit. In either of these cases, you should reevaluate your relationship and consider whether or not you want to be involved with a person who is manipulative.

    The Parents consortium

    this article just made me go bananas

    The other morning I walked into the bathroom to brush my teeth and Tamms was in there taking a susu. I didn’t think I needed to knock. She’s five for crying out loud, it’s not like she would be shaving. The moment I stepped in, she yelled her head off, “what are you doing? Close the door!” So I slipped in and closed the door. “Aaaah, no! Get out, and close the door!” Jeez, she was near hysteric. So I mumbled and stepped out.

    She’s all grown now. At five they want privacy. It doesn’t make sense. She needs privacy to take a leak, but when she is done, she calls out to her mom to go wipe her. I think if you are old enough to close the bathroom door, you should be able to wipe yourself; front going back (I know these things). However, I wonder whether guys with boys teach them bathroom etiquette, like you know, how to shake after. And do you hold his wee-wee and show him, or do you stand there and inspect the shake?

    Anyway, next year she goes to class one. Class one is a killer. The school treats it like they are going to jump off the edge of space. You are handed a long list of schools that they think will suit her. And every school is categorised and colour coded and their strengths and weaknesses listed for your pleasure.

    You also are required to attend sessions in school on how the change will “affect” them. Yes, apparently changing schools and losing friends will have dire effect on them as kids (gulp). So the transition has to be “bridged” smoothly. Between me and you, I think its nonsense. Kids adapt very fast. They aren’t like us who hang onto stuff, you know, we keep whining how we miss our old houses, former colleagues etc. Kids will wear a long face for a day, and the next day they will bounce back.

    I know this because when I was in SA for ten days (the longest I have been away is 6 days climbing mount Kenya), Tamms wrote down the number of days I was away on a piece of paper – the day of the week and the date. She would tick off the days after the end of the day. I didn’t know this was happening but when I got back I ran into this piece of paper and saw that she had not ticked the last two days. “Eff, it,” I bet she told herself, “this nigga isn’t coming back. Men! ” She got bored of waiting and moved on. She adapted to my absence. Eight bloody days is all I’m worth!

    Of course that gutted me. I mean, you would think that they would wait for years, nope! Eight days. Doesn’t matter how many ice creams you buy, or chicken or shoes, they will move on. Anyway, I didn’t think too much about, but it stayed in mind, niggling, until I said OK, fine, I will confront her.

    So I waited until one morning when she was having breakfast. She normally sits on this pink plastic chair, wedged about 2.1cms from the TV screen (only sissies watch TV from a safe distance). Having breakfast is a distracted episode: she can hold a slice of bread about an inch from her lips for 25mins while she is lost on some cartoon. I can shower, dress up and still find her holding that bread to her face. We lose them to cartoons then when when we finally find them, we lose them to life.

    “Tamms,” I tapped her back gently. “ Why did you stop ticking these dates?”

    “You are tickling me,” she mumbled, not looking at me.

    “No, I’m not. Why did you stop ticking, these dates?”

    No answer. So I mute the TV. She turns to look at me with a mixture of self imposed patience and revulsion.

    “This thing here,” I’m tapping the paper with a smile, “ why did you stop ticking?”

    “ I did not stop ticking,”

    “You did. You stopped on Friday. Look. ”

    She looked at it closely then said, “ I lost my pencil.”

    “You could have used crayons, or a chalk, or biro pen or mommy’s eye pencil, anything…”

    She looked confused at all the drama and went back to stare at the muted TV.

    “Did you think I would not come back?” I whined, fishing for attention.

    “ No, you went where?” She’s changing the subject.

    “I went to South Africa. But did you think I will not come back?”

    “Nooo!” a feeble smile.

    “No as in, no you didn’t think I will come back or no, you knew I will come back?”

    “But you came back!” Good point.

    “Yes, but I mean, you didn’t think I would come back, did you?”

    “ No.”

    “No, what?”

    “Are you going back, you get me a puzzle?”

    “First lets solve this puzzle here!”

    “Which one?”

    “The one of you forgetting me!”

    “Genevieve has a blue pencil holder, will also buy for me?” she asked.

    I bet Genevieve would never forget about her father that’s why she gets blue pencil holders! I thought to myself, but heard myself say, “Yes, I will.”

    Why bother. Asking kids such questions is like asking a woman if she came. I mean, you will get an answer all right, but you will never know whether it’s the right answer. Not when you are all touchy and ego-fragile.

    Anyway, back to class one.

    In preparation, we have attended of these school things where they advice and guide parents on their choice of schools. I often enjoy most school meetings (especially the father’s forums), but sometimes they can get pretty tedious: check into the lawn area, serve yourself tea, pick a mandazis, join a flock of fathers talking about their kids, meet someone new, pretend you are interested in how their son loses his footballs weekly, converge into the meeting room, listen to some smart-alec give a testimonial, use the washroom, find a lunje already in there because he took three mugs of tea, jog on the spot as you wait for him to finish, use the live hedge instead. Repeat.

    But after going for so many of them, I can classify parents who attend them. You only have to stand up to ask a question and I will immediately pigeon hole you.

    Mr. Professional

    He has a career. The rest of you have jobs. Having a career is not bad, but this guy will make sure you know he has a career. He could be a GP, a lawyer, or an engineer. Funnily enough, I have never heard of a showy gynaecologist (no pun).

    So the head teacher, will ask, “ Have you any particular needs about your children that you want addressed that perhaps you can share with the group, for purposes of learning?” His hand will shoot up. He will then stand up and take about two hours buttoning up his coat. Then he will say, “ My name is Ouma. A. McOkoth. I have a son in Green Apples called Reyad Musa Al Asaad, named after my Syrian hero (chuckle in the room). My question is about XYZ, and I ask it only because as a consulting dentist my interactions…” Then off he will go dropping references about his work and experience and affluence. When he is done with his question, three days later, you will be certain that the initial “A” in his name is a body part.

    The Romantics

    I like these ones. It’s always the lady who stands up, mostly a light one, a bit plump-ish. She will always ask a question and not forget to give a very rosy reference about their marriage. She will extol to us broken ones, the virtues that live of their home, how loving they are. She will always call her husband, “sweetie” or “darling”. She might even put her hand on her “hazbad’s” head while she speaks of how he lies on the carpet every evening to play with the kids. That time you came home late two nights ago and you are only barely being tolerated as a living creature, let alone a human being. But when this lady speaks, and you listen very very keenly, you will always hear the collective room roll their eyes.

    The Prayerful

    He almost wants to start his question with, “na tuombe…” I have nothing against people of faith. I really don’t, I think it’s a great thing, but try not impose it on people, or make them feel like they will burn in hell if they don’t pray with their kids before they sleep. And this guy, always speaking in very low sagely tone and will quote the bible gallantly to make a point.

    Silent

    This chap has never contributed to any debate. He comes in silently, ignores the tea (we can safely say he isn’t lunje), and sits at the back. He sometimes takes notes on his phone. Or just listens and laughs occasionally. He isn’t snobbish; he’s just socially awkward. He seems like those guys who has never won mismatched socks in their lives.

    Perfect Dad

    I don’t like this guy. The holder of 2012/2013 World’s Coolest Dad. He is a smart-ass who makes every dad look insufficient. He has this fatherhood down to a pat. I know a guy like this in Tamm’s school. First he has this high pitch voice that you cannot want to smile at, like that “Donge” guy from Kisumu. I’m certain Tamm’s voice is deeper. And he always wants to contribute to a discussion or a debate because he has the handbook. And when he stands to debate, he always gives example of what he does with his girls (he has two girls) and how close they are, and how he knows exactly what to do in what situation. He has a fatherhood tablet that God gave him when he went up to Mt Longonot. And us “sinners” should learn from it.

    The Joker

    My hero. Everybody’s hero actually. This guy never comes to many school meetings. He almost always looks like he has a hangie. But he is hilarious. When he gets up to speak, you can feel the room readying himself for a laugh. He is the guy who shouts something from the back of the room, something suicidal given the matrony-no-nonsense look of the head teacher of the school. He is friendly to everyone, so before the sessions begin you will always find guys eclipsed around him, hearing his ludicrous tale. And he laughs loudly and calls everybody “mkubwa.”

    Everybody likes him because he has no pretences. His wife always looks embarrassed when he stands to speak, which adds to his intrigue. So when Mr Ouma A McOkoth is speaking, all everybody wants is to wrestle the microphone out of his hands and hand to this chap.

    I would rather crawl than Run

    For when we are born we really on our elders and parents to carry us from one place to another. i ponder and wonder why it happens but
    i fear this There are many three-word sentences in the world. We have some that show affection like “I love you” – except when you say it and get no favourable response. Or if the person says the words back with addition of words like “a brother” or “a friend” at the end. We also have others that send shivers down your spine especially in Njaaanuary like “Pay the Bill” and “Lend me money.”

    However, there is one that sends me into defensive mode when ladies say it. And no, its not “I am pregnant” – as much as I would panic on hearing it at this juncture in my life. The three words I am talking about are “Hold My Handbag.”

    According to man laws, men are not allowed to hold purses and their other scary cousins from upcountry called handbags. This makes a man instantly lose man points unless their physical address reads “closet” or some other such derivative.

    So in order to ensure you dont lose man points, the following guidelines will cushion you from loss of the very vital man points emanating from how you handle handbags.

    1) If a lady leaves a handbag with you, you are supposed to promptly place it on the nearest free space and stand five feet from it. You are allowed stare at it from this safe distance.

    Exception : If the handbag holds the only condom you two have, then you are allowed to hold it. You will however have to answer to the man law oversight board later to explain why the condom is in her bag and not your wallet.

    2) For all intentions and purposes, a handbag should be considered as a detachable organ for ladies. If she can carry all other organs to wherever she is going, she can carry the handbag as well.

    Exception : She can leave her handbag with you if she leaves another organ as guarantee that she will return, preferably a kidney or any of its neighboring organs. If she leaves a vagina, she can stay away for a few hours.

    3) A man shall not check inside a lady’s handbag even with her permission. If she is away from the room and asks you to pick something from her handbag, you should observe the standard five feet safe distance away from the handbag and keep shouting “I cant find it” until she comes and looks for it herself.

    Exception : You are allowed to check if she asked for an inhaler, or authorization certificate from her father that allows you to screw her.

    4) If a lady leaves her handbag open in your presence, you are supposed to desist from looking at it at all times unless the handbag tries to initiate conversation. To which you should run away from the room at maximum speed.

    Exception : If the handbag speaks in Morgan Freeman’s voice, then you are allowed to look. For a second. So that you can ask him what the fuck he is doing inside the handbag.

    5) If a lady forgets her handbag in your car or house, please call police immediately. You have been having a man dressed as a woman inside your car or house all along and there might be explosives in the handbag. No woman worth her salt forgets her handbag. If she did not forget her other organs, she has no right to leave her handbag.

    Exception : If you purposely hid it so that she can come back later as part of your broader plan to get her into your net, then you instantly win yourself ten man points. If she comes back for it, realizes what you did and slaps you for it, you get fifteen man points for the effort and the pain.

    Evening ideas beyond the thought.

    Romance is underrated with many couples. Unfortunately, the majority of couples allow life to get in the way and put romance on the back burner. There are so many ways that romance can be injected into your relationship, in as little as one evening. Use these ideas for outings, activities and at-home ideas to give your relationship the shot of romance that it deserves.

    Modern Candlelit Dinner
    A candlelit dinner is one of the traditional staples to a romantic evening. Regardless of the scenario, whether the dinner has been made at home and presented to you by a loved one, or if the couple is enjoying a dinner at their favorite fabulous restaurant – there are many ways to update the dated candlelit dinner tradition. Rather than using candles in the middle of the table, use candles all the way throughout the room, or throughout the home, guiding your partner to the place where you have made their favorite dinner and set the table for two. Create a romantic ambience by soft music playing in the background and flowers on the table. Using these tips, the candlelight dinner can truly transform into something special.

    Bubble Bath for Two
    While creating this bubbly experience for two, use some of your partners favorite scents to allure him or her into the room. In the midst of the bubbles, float a message in a bottle to your partner containing a love poem, a love note, or even a sweet nothing. This gesture will stand out in the mind of your partner as something special that you have done for them. Flowers and candles can be used in the bathroom to set the mood for the bath for two, which provides the couple with a great chance to use those essential massage oils that are around the house. After the bath, offer your partner a massage. Your partner will truly be putty in your hands after this treatment!

    Begin the Anticipation Early
    Early anticipation gives your partner time to wonder and get excited about what kind of surprises that you have in prepare for him or her that day. Send flowers to his or her work and have them delivered with a note that reads something curious about what surprises are to come. Using a courier service, send small gifts and messages throughout the day to surprise your partner. You can also send along emails and text messages to increase the excitement level. When he or she gets home from work they will be surprised about what you have planned. A romantic night for two with new lingerie and dinner is the perfect end to this surprising day!

    High Style Evening
    By renting a limo for the evening, the couple can enjoy each other while dressed to the nines out on the town. For dinner, whisk your partner away to the most romantic restaurant in town. For dessert, attend another restaurants famous for their desserts. Finish the evening with a show and taking your partner to a romantic lookout point. This is sure to gain you points in the romance department. Everyone likes a chance to get dressed up, but we do not always have the reason to – this gives every couple the chance to get out their best!

    Strawberries and Champagne at a Local Hotel
    Strawberries and champagne are some of the most romantic foods and drinks available. If you are spending the night at a local hotel as a romantic gesture be sure to include these on your menu. Create a toast that is dedicated to your partner and say all of the things that you feel about him or her, compliments and things that people love to hear. Consider creating a poem, or thinking ahead of time what you would like to say. This formal toast should be completed standing, for added effect. Next, move on the strawberries, feeding each other the chocolate covered wonder and settle in for a long evening of romance.

    Art for Two
    Creating something together is one of the most romantic gestures that a couple can complete together. Prepare for the evening with a visit to the local art store to purchase a large piece of canvas, brushes and paint. Any other supplies can be purchased at this time. Start the evening with dinner, voicing your request to do something different together, to create something together. When your partner is stumped, bring up the idea of completing an art project together, and mention that you have already purchased all of the supplies. This is sure to win over the heart of your partner, as they are able to see the effort that you have put into this very moment.

    Beach Picnic
    To celebrate those hot summer nights, consider a picnic at the beach. The beach is a perfect place to watch the sunset, as the sunset seems to reflect from the water, intensifying the experience. While you are planning this beach picnic, be sure to have all the supplies and picnic food within the car and then ask your partner to go for a drive. If you have time ahead of time, set up a blanket, candles and even music at the beach. Enlisting the help of your friends can be essential to cover this part of the date. At the beach, stumble upon the blanket and ask your partner to stay and watch the sunset with you. This will be a guaranteed yes!

    Ideas at home..

    Some say that home is where the romance begins. It seems that the most successful of couples have romance in the home, before anywhere else – as the home is where most couples spend the majority of their time. Ensuring that there is romance in the home can keep partners interested while creating an intensity and passion within the relationship. Romance within the home can make everyday exciting, causing it to feel like a special occasion. We all know those couples that seem to fall in love over and over, the secret of these couples is that they have the ability and make the effort to add romantic gestures into their daily activities. Use some of these ideas to become that romantic couple:

    Shower Celebration
    Fill the shower with balloons and other presents before your partner jumps in for the morning shower. Write a message on the mirror in the steam, or in lipstick for your partner to see when he or she gets out of the shower. Be sure that the lipstick can be easily removed from the glass by testing a small spot. This would seem a little less romantic if you had to spend the remainder of the day replacing the mirrors within the bathroom.

    Dinner for Two
    There is no reason that dinner at home can’t be just as exciting as romantic as a night out on the town. Something as simple as preparing your partner’s favorite meal while you allow them to be pampered can do wonders for a relationship. For busy moms or dads busy at the office it is important to take the time to complete these small gestures. Candlelight can make any dinner romantic, using small tea-light and taper candles on the table can create a romantic atmosphere in an instant.

    Have a Bubble Bath for Two
    A bubble bath for two is wonderful way to get warm after a day in the winter weather, or simply catch up! It allows each of your to sensually wash each other and bathe together. Add in candles and bubble bath with aromatherapy beads for a scented experience. Bathing together can easily turn into a weekly tradition that allows the couple to catch up after a busy week. When the couple bathes together they can take the time to relax, wind down from the day and take the time to notice each other. Bathing can be followed by a sensual massage, allowing the couple to relax even further.

    Games Night with Romantic Prizes
    Hosting a games night with your partner and having romantic prizes is a great way to use that competitive spirit. A games night allows the couple to become closer, while working as part of a team or as an opposition to play the game. At the beginning of the game each partner is to determine the romantic prize that they are going to give, or provide for their partner in case they win. At this point, the couple can tell each other, or keep the prizes secret. At the end of the game it will be a surprise for everyone!

    Heart Shaped Cookies
    Make heart shaped cookies for your partner to take to work, or surprise your partner in the morning before they wake up. These cookies can be decorated and iced with your partner’s favorite flavors for a little something extra. Everyone likes to have things done for them that are bordering on romantic; cookies can be made in as little as fifteen minutes and have a big impact!

    Little Love Notes
    Whether written on post-it notes and left around the house or simply written and put into your partner’s lunch, love notes are a great way to send your thoughts to your partner throughout the day. The love notes should be written by hand and left for your partner in various places for him or her to find throughout the day. They need not be longer than a couple of sentences; it is the thought that counts and speak from your heart when crafting the notes.

    Sensual Emails and Texts
    With modern technology, it is becoming easy to stay in touch during the day. Why not use this technology to strengthen your relationship and send small love notes and tiny gestures through the phone or computer and light up your partners face each time they realize they have one of these small notes in their inbox! Use your heart to send compliments and greetings that will cause anticipation to see each other next.

    Small Gifts Hidden in the Home
    Leave a small gift in a place that they would never expect to find it. For her, leave it inside of her makeup or cosmetic case – For him, leave it in his favorite box of breakfast cereal. These small romantic gifts do not have to be expensive to be effective, the small thought will put a smile on your partners face all day! Something like a book they have been dying to read, or a new tube of her favorite lip gloss or mascara make the perfect addition to the gift. Accompany the gift with a small love note for the maximum effect.

    Massage for One
    A massage is a great gift, especially if your partner has had a long day. The next time that your partner seems tires or stressed encourage them to have a hot shower while you prepare an area to massage them. The bedroom is perfect, and can be candlelit to have a relaxing glow in the space. Begin at their head – at the temples and make your way down all the way to the feet. Using aromatherapy lotions help to take the stress of the day away and help your partner relax. This is a favor that will not go unwelcomed!

    weekend getaway ideas

    Romantic weekends are a time for busy couples to rekindle the relationship and find the magic that they have for each other. Even if the weekend away is in your own home, there can be great benefits to spending a full weekend focusing on nothing but each other, the needs of your partner and the attention required for a successful relationship.

    Romantic weekends allow the couple to communicate without the interruptions of life, children and friends coming in between. Two days can even refresh a relationship on the rocks, giving each partner in the couple new perspective when it comes to the relationship.

    A Weekend In
    A weekend in involves nothing more than staying in your home all weekend, lovingly spending time with your partner. This “us” weekend can involve activities that the two of you enjoy, but they must be done together. This is a great idea for couples looking for ideas to spice up their relationship. This weekend in turns out to be anything but boring for most couples, with the couples finding new ways to amuse themselves through board games, sports activities and other fun things to do that the couple never has a chance to. A weekend in truly helps a couple to realize that there is indeed no place like home.

    Tourist in Your Own Town
    Chances are there are tourist attractions and events in your town or city that you have never been to. The larger the city or town, the higher this chance for most couples. Many of us don’t take the time to appreciate the area in which we live, so this activity is perfect for those couples. Take a look at the local tourist office or on websites detailing city events. There is more than likely going to be many events that you didn’t even know were available in the town. Plan the weekend around these events and don’t be afraid to take pictures and be mistaken for a tourist. You can discover your partner amongst the gems of events in your city and town throughout this weekend learning experience.

    Secret Weekend Away
    Whisking your partner away for a surprise weekend falls high on the list of romantic weekend getaway ideas. The element of surprise causes excitement and anticipation in the relationship with your partner constantly wondering where the two of you are off to. When planning this weekend away as surprise, be sure to use methods of payment that will not alert your partner and plan a mini vacation to the last place that they would expect. This weekend getaway not only rejuvenates the relationship but adds spark back into the dynamic, in ways that only anticipation can! Are you able to pack for your partner? Be sure to throw in some of their favorites as well as appropriate wear for the journey and all of the activities that the two of you are going to be completing.

    Couples Retreat
    Although this may seem extreme, couples retreats are extremely helpful to assist in rekindling the romance that life has made it so impossible to create through the years. Using communication methods and exercises combined with activities, the couple is able to interact with each other as much as possible while creating bonds that will last the entirety of the relationship. Choose a couples retreat that suits your needs, whether for a spa weekend away or simply a time to recall how to communicate. Your partner will be touched that you took it upon yourself to create a weekend that will improve the relationship.

    Cooking and Wine Weekends
    For those couples that love to cook together, cooking retreats are available, as well as wine weekends which enable the couples to learn about wine, cooking and fine cuisine. Many classes are held over the period of the weekend with the couple having the chance to interact with local and sometimes famous chefs. Although this weekend can be expensive, the many couples who have chosen this option have said this weekend is well-worth it! New skills are learned throughout the weekend which enables the couple to learn together and use these skills doing something that they enjoy. Most often, these weekends are held at hotels and local wineries. Check the listings on the websites for events occurring in your area.

    Beach Getaway
    Renting a cabin at the beach can be exhilarating. Waking up the smell of the water each morning and the luxury of being able to lie on the beach – there is nothing to compare. There are so many romantic things that can occur on the beach a sunrise picnic, or watching the sun set over the water. Together, you can try new water activities such as tubing and wake boarding and learn together while playing together. This makes the beach a romantic getaway perfect for the weekend.

    City Lights
    Do you live outside of the city? This is a chance to give your partner the weekend they desire full of the hustle and bustle of the city. There are so many activities that the couple can do together to bring up romance into their lives. Not only are there many tourist activities but there are festivals, new restaurants for the couple to try and of course, taking in the shows and the nightlife. Regardless of your partner’s hobbies, there should be something for everyone to enjoy on a weekend trip into the city.

    How sad can it get?

     

     Please read this text:

    A girlfriend gave a challenge to her boyfriend; To live a day without her. No communication at all and said if he passed it, she’ll love him forever. The boyfriend agreed. He never texted her, nor called his girlfriend for the whole day – without knowing his girlfriend has only 24 hours left because she was dying from cancer. After a day, he excitedly went to his girlfriend. “I did it baby”, but tears fell as he saw his girlfriend lying in a coffin with a note “You did it baby.. Now please do it everyday.. I love you” I cant tell you how much I hate that story! It makes me think of my grandmother, who died some years ago – because of cancer. miss her so much! I can’t find words too describe it. She was only 60 years old

     I want to look and act just like her. Too me she was (will always be in my heart!) the perfect human. Cancer is so unfair! I remember the last words she whispered to me “take care of yourself honey!”… Get tears in my eyes just by writing it. As I said, she was perfect , Wish I could call her an tell her how much she means too me, and tell her to come see me soon so that I could give her a hug

    Do you know someone who has cancer, or someone who won or lost the battle? take time and show em that they can make it n that it aint the end of life  but they can live to see a another day cause Our Lord is the ultimate cure.